- I’m in to this. I have great stories for days about my former drinking days.
- Since for the better part sober, I like the term “streaks” bc thats all life is, you have been doing x for y time or not, anyway my current streak is 4 months, and for the past 42 months I have been streaky sober, but sober from alcohol nonetheless for about 30 of those months.
- IT FUCKING SUCKS
- The not having alcohol for medicinal purposes gets pretty easy after you are clean for a few months and then go out and get real fucked up falling off the wagon. I got alcohol poisoning this way, didnt go to the hospital bc its embarrassing to show up there as a result of your own indulgence, but did hallucinate from a fever, maybe saw Jesus’ face briefly in a mirror after throwing up the for the 43rd time, fuck it was rough - anyway, after a while your body gets clean and does particularly want to drink to for the physcial effects but:
- The damned lonliness for me can get unbearable and I have trashed several months of accrued sobriety to go out and get a buzz, only to put myself on the level of the rest of the eligible make out mates at the bar. Going home with a random member of the opposite, and from what I hear, same sex person is just easier from a BAR bc its common practice. And its bullshit.
- I have like 6 decent at best stories from my months of sobriety. No alcohol, making less volatile for some, does not mean that it gets more exciting.
It’s not so much that I feel like I absolutely NEED a drink… though all this water is keeping my taste buds quite bored… but alcohol seems to be the keystone of all decent spontaneous social plans in NYC. What the hell am I supposed to do that DOESN’T involve alcohol?
[…]
So part of being sober is: accepting that you’ll sometimes not be able to immediately immerse yourself in the energy of a gathering, or enjoy a social interaction when your heart isn’t in it. Sometimes, you just won’t like an evening with hordes. You have to start obeying your natural moods: no more drowning a few and suddenly feeling talkative, exuberant, thrilled, energized, sexualized, rowdy.
You will definitely begin to see things about people you never noticed before, or didn’t care about before. During one of my many sober streaks, I began to realize that I really didn’t like hanging out with certain people and couldn’t figure out why I was friends with them in the first place. I’m not going to jump on the “you can have fun without drinking” cliche, cause honestly some of the funniest, best moments of my young life involve drinking stories, but that cliche does have some merit to it. You just have to be confident in the person that you are… sober.
And as always, Mills puts everything into words more beautifully.