things that make you go...
This is a cool attitude.
I recently mapped my (real! true! accurate!) sexual history on a spreadsheet. Posting the spreadsheet itself proved too difficult (also: in incredibly bad taste) so I’m just going to throw up the stats. I find them highly interesting. Sidenote: I really, really hope my mom never finds my tumblr.
(Yes, I am hoping this will make you smile. Or laugh. Or just…feel better.)
I knew the name of 93.8% of the men I’ve fucked.
I used a condom with 32.3% of the men I’ve fucked.
I had sex on more than one occasion with 35.4% of the men I’ve fucked.
I was sober 10.8% of the time.
I had anal sex with 24.6% of the men I’ve fucked.
7.7% of the men were virgins.
9.2% of the men were married.
I was cheating on a boyfriend 10.8% of the time.
I was in a relationship with 7.7% of the men I’ve fucked.So there you have it. Sixty five dudes, by the numbers.
- What a wonderful July 4th present, regaining a lost liberty.
The humour is difficult to encapsulate, like describing the taste of bernaise sauce to someone who has never heard of it, but this defacement made us chuckle.
via youhadbetterknow.com
fek:
Things I Did On My July 4th Vacation: hit up The New Museum’s Younger Than Jesus art exhibit showcasing only artists born after 1976. It ends today. Here is what I saw, presented without comment.
Have you ever been to The New Museum? If so, I tried to capture the experience of visiting as well as I could. I do hope you enjoy.
we have nothing left to say
and we are getting lame - our shit is so bad right now we smell it, and everybody knows when your own farts make you want to throw up in your mouth, the person whose body it did not eminate from may really throw up. And you all are always drinking which makes the tummy eradicate like Gary Busey on a dime bag of pure choch monkey.
whew - like the mens room of a bowling alley, it needs to be stepped up but our brains are wrought with asbestos or something. Milli V blamed it on the rain, we blame it on the walls and the Chinese drywall too.
ugghhhh we forgot synonyms for everything bc collectively we are in a linguistic rut, huh, this shit is funny. Is that how the kids say it these days? Those kids, they still big on the brevity? Ya know say it with your eyes and heart and may the words merely be a vessel? When will the kids be verbose, clammoring for extra syllables, realizing that a little extra estoteric in the air is less time dying alone.
wtf? It’s like Gene Simmons and Raphael from the Ninja Turtles fucked and had a no talent ass clown weirdo white snake look alike stripper son.
interpolgroupieswearblack: I desperately
wantneed the CUNT SMASHER’S outfit.Are you ready for the CUNT SMASHER
